Sexual addiction, like many other types of addictions, creates momentary highs and deep dark lows. Upon orgasm the brain releases a rush of “feel good” chemicals called endorphins. These feel good chemicals set us up to chase the highs, thus creating the addiction. Sex addiction is characterized by having excessive and compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Symptoms range anywhere from compulsive masturbation, services over the phone and internet, to rape, molestation, exhibitionism and voyeurism. Much like any other addiction, sex addiction includes engaging in compulsive destructive actions regardless of potential health risks, financial problems, broken relationships and even imprisonment.
While everyone has a natural sexual desire, sex addiction often leads to little or no pleasure for those suffering from it. The internal mechanisms of pursuing pleasure can become corrupted when sex is used as a drug. The sex addict will continuously look for the next high and will eventually need a higher dose to get to the baseline, or “back to normal,” feeling.
Sex addiction is one of the leading addictions in America today. Below are some statistics from the National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity.
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It is estimated that between 6% to 8% of Americans, or around 18 to 24 million people, are addicted to sex.
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It is estimated that 8% of men and 3% of women are sex addicts.
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Almost 50% of internet users view pornography.
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More people are addicted to sex than to addictive drugs.
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Over 83% of sex addicts are also addicted to alcohol and drugs, are workaholics or are compulsive gamblers.
Different types of sex addiction related activities:
Fantasy Sex: Sexually charged relationships using fantasy.
Role Play: Acting out specific roles to make partners feel like they are on a conquest of the other.
Voyeuristic Sex: Visual stimulation, such as “peeping” at others’ sexual parts to use as masturbation stimulation.
Pornography: Sexual videos and pictures used for stimulation.
Exhibitionist Sex: Arousal created from exposing oneself.
Paying for Sex: Paying for sexual services. Examples would be paying for prostitution or an escort service.
Trading Sex: Sex used as a form of barter or trading and/or a way of gaining power, control and leverage.
Intrusive Sex: Violating other’s bounders as a means of creating arousal.
Anonymous Sex: Sex between two consenting adults with no monetary exchange. There is usually no seduction in this form of addiction.
Pain Exchange Sex or Sadistic Sex: Causing pain to the other or being hurt and humiliated to create arousal.
Exploitive Sex: Exploiting vulnerable people as a way of arousing oneself.
From A Mind Map Perspective
At the Psychological Healing Center, we view sex addiction as a symptom of a painful disconnect from our primary caregivers early on in life. When a child or baby is not properly attuned to by their primary caregiver, they can feel disconnected from other people as well as themselves. To combat these feelings, sexual activity in the form of masturbation, excessive pornography, prostitution, multiple partners, or other forms mentioned above are used to simulate the connection that is desired but was unavailable early on. Because the void and feelings of disconnection are not able to permanently be removed by the short term “highs” that sex offers, those suffering will compulsively chase a better and longer lasting “high” to fill their inner emptiness.
From a Mind Map Perspective, focusing on the CAUSE of the addiction as opposed to the symptoms will allow us to understand the wounds that cause pain in the individual and thus lead to self-destructive, and temporary self-soothing compulsions as seen in sex addiction. By healing our trust and attachment issues created from lack of emotional attunement from our primary caregivers, we can begin to build better understanding of our habits and create more intimate connections with our significant others and ourselves. In addition, by identifying our negative core beliefs which are created in early childhood, we can begin to see ourselves as worthy for relationships that are meaningful, intimate, and long lasting.one is responsible for healing but themselves. Once this is acknowledged, they can build a more healthy, sustainable life. While one may be a victim of their past, there is always an opportunity to Be The Cause (R) of a better future.
