Just because someone looks grown up, doesn’t mean they have reached all the developmental milestones necessary to have a matching mental age.
Role Play
There are a lot of roles an adult must take on in life whether it be spouse, parent, worker, and even child in times of carefree playfulness. A sign of development-gone-right is when you have empathy, good communication skills, you can put your feelings aside for another person, and you can take on the different roles required of you at appropriate times. Arrested development creates chaos, defenses, and breakdowns. When a person has arrested development, it is difficult to switch in and out of these different roles due to the fact that they are still stuck in a childhood or teenage state of mind. They don’t know how to self reflect and self correct, they don’t know how to have a peaceful conversation, they don’t know how to step up and take responsibility for things, etc. In these situations, it is important to look back and see where you got stuck and undo the negative core beliefs and defenses that you formed there so you can move on and grow.
Arrested Development
In this article by S. Rufus, she remarks on the phenomena of arrested development:
“Some of us look grown up but aren’t. We walk around with suits and briefcases and car keys and annuities. But inside, we are five. Ten. Twelve. Sixteen. We sit in boardrooms, travel the world, even write books. But we are kids, still playing dress-up, playing house. Our bodies matured but our minds did not. Now — playing catch-up, playing spy — we feel left out of the adult world, certain that our would-be peers are whispering behind our backs, or speaking in a code we do not know.”
S. Rufus
Erik Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development
In this article by Kendra Cherry, she sums up the developmental stages outlined by famed psychologist, Erik Erikson.
“Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust
The first stage of Erikson’s theory… occurs between birth and 1 year of age and is the most fundamental stage in life. At this point in development, the child is utterly dependent upon adult caregivers for everything they need to survive including food, love, warmth, safety, and nurturing. If a child successfully develops trust, the child will feel safe and secure in the world. Failure to develop trust will result in fear and a belief that the world is inconsistent and unpredictable. Erikson believed that successful development was all about striking a balance between… an openness to experience tempered by some wariness that danger may be present.
Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
The second stage… takes place during early childhood and is focused on children developing a greater sense of personal control. The essential theme of this stage is that children need to develop a sense of personal control over physical skills and a sense of independence. Children who struggle and who are shamed for their accidents may be left without a sense of personal control. Success during this stage of psychosocial development leads to feelings of autonomy; failure results in feelings of shame and doubt.
Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt
The third stage… takes place during the preschool years. At this point in psychosocial development, children begin to assert their power and control over the world through directing play and other social interactions. Children who are successful at this stage feel capable and able to lead others. Those who fail to acquire these skills are left with a sense of guilt, self-doubt, and lack of initiative.
Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority
The fourth… takes place during the early school years from approximately ages 5 to 11. Through social interactions, children begin to develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments and abilities. Children need to cope with new social and academic demands. Success leads to a sense of competence, while failure results in feelings of inferiority.
Stage 5: Identity vs. Confusion
The fifth… takes place during the often turbulent teenage years. This stage plays an essential role in developing a sense of personal identity which will continue to influence behavior and development for the rest of a person’s life. Teens need to develop a sense of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability to stay true to yourself, while failure leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self. Those who receive proper encouragement and reinforcement through personal exploration will emerge from this stage with a strong sense of self and feelings of independence and control. Those who remain unsure of their beliefs and desires will feel insecure and confused about themselves and the future.”
From a Mind Map Perspective
If we have parents who mirror us and attune to us as we grow up, we will move properly through developmental stages of life. However, if we do not, we may be exposed to childhood wounds. Furthermore, if your parents have arrested development, they may not be the best at helping you grow. Our generational trauma holds us all back. Panel 1, 2, and 3 (wound, reaction, and encoding) represent the developmental stage of life. When we are exposed to wounds, we react negatively and encode our injuries as negative core beliefs. Panel 4 (chaos) represents a system-gone-wrong. To defend ourselves, we lock ourselves into psychological prisons and are arrested there because we do not believe the world is safe. When we don’t allow any light to come in, it is impossible to grow.
If we don’t look at the cause of our pain and why we’re in our defensive state, then we get stuck too early in our development. We won’t have the psychological base to continue building a healthy sense of self and basic psychological skills for life such as healthy communication, behavior. If we don’t develop those, it affects our relationships later on in life. At the psychological healing center, the Mind Map System takes you through the developmental stages to undo the damage of a painful childhood and help patients reform their cracked lens of perception.
