When getting involved with others in a business, creative, or educational endeavor, it is important to establish boundaries to protect yourself, your time, ideas, money, etc. It is also important to remain receptive to who you are working with. Finding enthusiastic, likeminded people to start a new project or business venture with can be exciting, especially when you are hearing all the right things and getting all your ideas validated and praised. A rule of thumb when investing your time, energy, money, ideas, etc. with another in mind, is always proceed with caution and eyes wide open.
Narcissism in business and education is continuously increasing and realizing you’ve been involved with a narcissist (in any sense) comes long after significant damage has already been done. Narcissism refers to an inflated sense of self/ entitlement, inflated expectations, and extrinsic values that focus more on the outcome or instant gratification of praise, rather than the journey, effort, and work put in to achieve a goal. They are looking out for that validation, ego-boost hit and will stop at nothing to get it, even when that means stealing or plagiarizing another’s work to get it.
“Narcissists are ravenous for new ideas and visions. If they can’t conjure one up themselves, they will steal yours.” – Linda Martinez-Lewi Ph.D. Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
This is done strategically. A narcissist chooses their targets based on how useful/ resourceful one will be to them and their ego. They will seek you out because they are intrigued by you and what you have to offer, they will charm you into trusting them and their support for you. Once that trust is built, they will invite you to open share business/ creative plans making you think they have your best interest at heart.
According to an article written by Amy Morin for Forbes Magazine, 7 Things Only Narcissists do in Business include:
- They make it clear they know everything
- They insist on being the exception to the rule
- They project an image of superiority
- They make a great first impression, but quickly wear their welcome
- They boost their egos by implying others are inferior
- They assume everyone adores them
- They always put their own feelings ahead of other’s needs
In the eyes of a narcissist, they are entitled to your time, energy, ideas, resources, and anything else that they can reap for their benefit. When presenting clear and established boundaries be prepared to be greeted with gaslighting, deflection, manipulation, guilt, and oftentimes bullying. You and your ideas have become a source of supply and demand and when you finally decide to cut off their supply, you are no longer of value to them. Notice when you have a resource or something of value to them, you are flooded with praise, adoration, and charm, but the moment you threaten their supply, they do a 180. Once you are no longer a source to feed their ego, you are now greeted with manipulation, gaslighting, deflection, and bullying. Once this shift happens, you may find yourself “ghosted” by this person and their contributions to a business/ project, or you may even become their mortal enemy. This can look like sabotage, slandering, and even plagiarism/ stealing business ideas.
From a Mind Map Perspective
A narcissist tends to go beyond boundaries. They do this by establishing self-defined boundaries which can often lead them to stealing, plagiarizing, getting in trouble with the law, and ultimately, becoming a liability. This comes from the idea that they felt they were a liability in childhood. Childhood wounds that blueprint core beliefs such as “I am not good enough”, or “I am a liability”, can lead a narcissistic person on their self-fulfilling prophecy to fill their hole in the soul with other’s ideas and identities.
When dealing with a narcissist, it is best to avoid going into business ventures all together, but that is not always possible as the signs don’t show up until you have already invested. If you suspect you may be involved with a narcissist, here are some tips on how to navigate the inevitable rollercoaster ride they will take you on.
- Always protect yourself legally
- Make sure everything is in writing
- Pay attention to patterns of praise and adoration
- Set and maintain clear, solid boundaries
- If you can avoid doing business with a narcissist, do avoid it
